Positive focus is the natural state; we don’t need to learn how to do it. The reason why we focus negatively and then have unwanted results is because we were trained out of our own compass to conform the expectations of the family and society we were born into.
How to restore the natural state of being? We integrate the aspects of us that was abandoned by us. We suppressed memories to survive as a child, so now we are not fully aware of these painful experiences. We don’t lose memories. Every single one of them is recorded by our bodies.
How to know what aspect of us needs to be integrated? Follow the emotions and sensations of the body (they are basically the same thing). Memory expressed itself in different forms; the most obvious clue we have usually is the feeling aspect of the memory. Early memories (foetal, infant and toddler memories) sometimes don’t have visual aspect.
Found the memories, or they surfaced spontaneously, what’s next? Feel and be with the child completely and unconditionally.
The desperate child in your heart needs to be nurtured first. The desperate child doesn’t want lectures or hearing you want him/her to feel better. The desperate child only wants your presence. Let him/her feel the desperateness. Let him/her know you won’t leave even he/she feels desperate.