This Ask Teal episode stirred up something interesting… I know I never strongly identify as a woman or female or any gender because of the lack of mirroring in my childhood (no mirroring means no identity). And this episode magnified my confusion and made me really aware of it.

I feel confused. Why does gender identity mean some sort of rigid social role and character? Why not just acknowledge the biological differences and express whoever we are? Why not design society and our lives according to our differences? Why does accommodating to differences mean women/femininity is less respect-worthy? Why society doesn’t value the strength and gifts in feminine energy as much as the strength and gifts in masculine energy? None of us would exist if we lacked either of them!!

All people regardless of which gender they identify with WANT what women want: FREEDOM to be whoever they want to be and be SUPPORTED.

The most dominant part within me relative to gender is the resistance to identify with either gender because the current societal expectations for both genders are just painful, stressful and restrictive (not to mention non-binary…). I want neither of them. It sucks to be a woman or a man. It sucks to be an adult. It sucks to be a child. It sucks to be a human now!!!

The loudest pain (a different part) other than confusion is ‘I can’t be a man’. No matter how hard I try, I will never become a man. I will always be more vulnerable. The pain of our differences/deficiencies as females being taken advantage of. The pain of being the weaker one on the physical level. The pain of always feeling unsafe and hard in public space. The part compensating for the part wanting traditional gender roles is SO relatable. It’s canvassing how every woman feels!!!

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