I was doing parts work on my resistance to love and felt inspired to read this article, and it totally is how my part copes with not being loved unconditionally as a child… Especially building walls to keep pain in. This ‘love doesn’t exist’ story in and of itself is painful… and I use it to prevent the pain of love being fake or conditional, the pain of not feeling loved at all because there’s no real love. And when a relationship does dissolve, that part will be like ‘see…I told you, love doesn’t exist’ when in fact my rejection of the other person contributes a lot to the crumbling of the relationship. I am seeing flashbacks of my past relationships with friends and even partners… This ‘love doesn’t really exist’ belief totally ruined my relationships. And it still plays out in my current relationships, in the way where I am always nervous about disappointing others… Painful transaction. Anxiously meeting the other person’s needs, so I won’t be rejected and abandoned. It’s soooo painful!!!! I don’t want this anymore!
I actually wrote a blog about ‘love isn’t real’ before… With my current awareness freshly gained from my integration process, I realised that instead of love isn’t real, it’s actually ‘love isn’t consistent/constant’. Love isn’t always there, consistent, unwavering unconditionally no matter under what circumstances and how circumstances change. Love wasn’t constant.
It is my promise to myself and the people in my life that I strive to love unconditionally and am always in the practice of unconditional love… I’m always in the practice of getting closer to full integration which is unconditional love. Even with my enemies, with my resistance and hatred, I face all of them and get closer to all of them… I am also in the process of loving them. Loving them and loving myself are identical… The result will always be peace and unity, harmony amongst all, and sometimes that means physical distance and separation, so we no longer force incompatible people to stay together; we take each other’s best interests as part of our own, so we free each other from the suffering of incompatibility… We don’t want to stay together, and by virtue of taking this desire of ours as our own, we allow this to happen. And other times, we stick together, commit to each other, face challenges together, always be present and connected. We love each other. We are one.