Most people living in the current society today have been trained to put up with unwanted experiences since childhood. People cope with life by thinking thoughts like ‘that’s life’ and ‘It is how it is’. This state of being is a result of living in powerlessness for a long time without being able to perceive any way to create positive lasting change. Most of us are stuck in learnt powerlessness. The perception of powerlessness we started to experience in our childhood never dissipates on its own because trauma doesn’t work that way, and we spend our adult life running away from it or enduring it, which means giving up and staying stuck.
The passivity and bitterness commonly seen in society nowadays is nothing more than coping mechanisms. Complaining is a coping mechanism. Bullying is a coping mechanism. A coping mechanism is defined as something we do or something we use to enable ourselves to survive and stay in an unwanted and unhealthy situation. A coping mechanism makes a person feel better and makes life more bearable short term, but it will ruin lives in the long run. People usually become aware of the negative effects of their coping mechanisms until they have been seriously burnt by them, and by that point, we call the coping mechanisms addictions.
Coping mechanisms are absolutely necessary if you are captured and imprisoned in a concentration camp physically, but most people living in society today aren’t. We don’t take actions to create lasting change when we are physically capable of it. We are living in our individual, and as a society, collective psychological concentration camps.
Why are we allowing ourselves to stay stuck? Powerlessness implies feeling out of control, and as children and adults we naturally want to feel empowered and be able to create positive change either by ourselves or influencing others to help us accomplish it. This natural instinct was suppressed when we were punished for signalling our pain and desire for change to people around us by expressing negative emotions in ways we knew best.
This type of punishment happened over and over again, and as a result, we became conditioned to believe that expression of negative emotions and desire for change is bad and will lead to all kinds of painful consequences on mental, emotional or physical levels or all of them. Because of these painful and traumatic experiences, we adopted the beliefs ‘change is bad and leads to pain’ and ‘change is impossible’.
These beliefs adopted early on in our lives make creating change in adulthood as an individual and as a society incredibly difficult and triggering because after years’ worth of conscious and subconscious attention fed to them, these beliefs now manifest as giant dangerous consequences like a financial crisis or an environmental collapse. The way we grew up, how we have been parenting children for so many generations as a species, is the root cause of why we have unconsciously created a society no one wants to live in and is detrimental to other species on Earth and our natural environment.
We don’t commit to proactive change if we believe it’s painful and impossible, especially when immediate ramifications are perceived like losing our incomes or losing people we are emotionally attached to or losing belonging. Even if we consciously want to commit to proactive change, we often fail to do so because we haven’t unhooked ourselves from these often subconscious negative core beliefs inhibiting us.
How to shift negative core beliefs? First, observe ourselves and become self aware as much as possible. This means doing tons of shadow work. Doing shadow work doesn’t create more shadows because we are not negatively focusing on our trauma and negative beliefs. We are in the observer perspective which is neutral when we do shadow work. Observing, being aware of, something is a different vibration and point of attraction from experiencing something, being in the experience from first person perspective. They are two different states of being. Shadows met with unconditional presence which is our conscious awareness, cease to be shadows. They are integrated into the conscious mind once we become aware of them.
Second, use various tools that work best for you at the given moment and the given scenario. There are so many tools available for creating change, and many of them are free or cost very little. My personal favourites other than shadow work (which is a must-have tool) are parts work and The Completion Process by Teal Swan. These two techniques are based on the understanding of consciousness fragmentation and childhood trauma which are the root cause of all the suffering we experience, and the aim of these two techniques is the integration which is restoring the wholeness of consciousness, creating lasting healing and enabling conscious creation. They are not pain killers type of techniques. They require seeing the reality of ourselves and our lives which makes them rather intense but exciting as well. Facing our shame and fear is the surest way to create results.
Shadow work and integration are scary at first, but as you become familiar and comfortable with them, you will be fascinated by how magical they are. Your reality will shift drastically into what you genuinely want. Your personality will shift to reveal your authentic essence. Your relationships will become healthy, loving and full of trust. Your life will become more consistent, coherent and less of a mixture of joy and suffering. Everything is possible if we decide to really commit to proactive change. Everything is possible if we take physical actions from a space of integration, absent of internal resistance. Everything is possible if we commit to conscious creation.