愛與社會秩序

人需要秩序,社會秩序是父權、母權、極權、民主等制度誕生的原因。人只是一直在尋找能夠讓集體有秩序的最佳解方而已。秩序來自衝突能夠順利解決,需求能夠順利滿足,而這仰賴人對解決方案可能性的想像。這份想像(或說洞見與遠見)的能力則源自人對自己與他人深刻的理解與關懷。

負責其實可以很自由

負責與責任之所以令人痛苦是因為面對可能後果的恐懼與實際承擔後果的壓力。沒有後果帶來的恐懼壓力,負責與責任就是自由發揮創造力與影響力。權力伴隨負責與責任,對自己的負責與責任、對自己的權力,現在常稱為自我賦權。這是真正自由的必要條件。自由不是逃避責任。逃避感覺一點都不自由,反而讓恐懼壓力飆升。自由是有選擇的權力,真正的自由伴隨負責與責任,而在目前的社會與人性發展狀態下,自由是有一定程度恐懼壓力的。達成真正自由的訣竅在於選擇自己「想要的」壓力。什麼是想要的壓力?

Enduring & Inaction: The Poison Killing You & Society

The way we grew up, how we have been parenting children for so many generations as a species, is the root cause of why we have unconsciously created a society no one wants to live in and is detrimental to other species on Earth and our natural environment. We don’t commit to proactive change if we believe it’s painful and impossible, especially when immediate ramifications are perceived like losing our incomes or losing people we are emotionally attached to or losing belonging. Even if we consciously want to commit to proactive change, we often fail to do so because we haven’t unhooked ourselves from these often subconscious negative core beliefs inhibiting us.

To Trust or Not To Trust?

It is painful to be untrustworthy. Betraying others is actually a reflection of one’s own self betrayal because people in our lives are mirrors of our internal fragments. Being untrustworthy is to be separate from ourselves and others, and separation is the root of suffering. Failed relationships with others are mirroring our failed relationships with ourselves. We need to live with ourselves for the totality of our life on earth. It needs to be a conscious choice for us to be truly committed to trust, to self awareness, to integration and responsibility. Trust, and love, needs to be a choice we make with our free will. In trust and love, we are free.

The ‘Difficult’ Illusion & Perception

Our dream careers trigger this entire conditioning the most. If we look at what our goals and commitments actually require us, we usually find that they are not as difficult/impossible as we previously think. What makes us think that way, is trauma. We can always break huge projects into tiny, little, easy-to-achieve steps. We can make following through a relaxing and allowing practice. Creating the healing opposite experience of ease relative to our work or any commitment we aspire to achieve.

Love Is Real… But Not Constant

It is my promise to myself and the people in my life that I strive to love unconditionally and am always in the practice of unconditional love… I’m always in the practice of getting closer to full integration which is unconditional love. Even with my enemies, with my resistance and hatred, I face all of them and get closer to all of them… I am also in the process of loving them. Loving them and loving myself are identical...

My Rejection Trauma

I was exploring a minor trigger this evening and came to this realisation that blew my mind. I've been a match to rejection trauma triggers in social situations constantly throughout my life, and recently it even showed up in one of Teal’s interviews.

Gender Split: Confusion & The Pain of Being A Woman

This Ask Teal episode stirred up something interesting... The loudest pain (a different part) other than confusion is ‘I can’t be a man’. No matter how hard I try, I will never become a man. I will always be more vulnerable. The pain of our differences/deficiencies as females being taken advantage of. The pain of being the weaker one on the physical level. The pain of always feeling unsafe and hard in public space. The part compensating for the part wanting traditional gender roles is SO relatable. It’s canvassing how every woman feels!!!

My Parentification Wound

I’ve been doing shadow work and parts work about parentification trauma recently, and here’s the story. I feel very sad after writing out the story, especially about the insecurity of physical abandonment. How sad is this. No wonder I relate to orphans and adoptees... And I now understand how deeply the enmeshment trauma affected me. I fought so hard not to be enmeshed.