All coping mechanisms, at their core, are trying to avoid something painful. When I was little, I coped with life by absorbing massive amount of information (which gives me a lot of advantages), and it is still the main way I cope today. What was/am I avoiding? I was/am avoiding the feeling of isolation. The stark absence of people/connections in my life. This particular coping mechanism is receptive and thus directly opposing what I’m wanting to do right now. It keeps me from productivity and creativity, the forward movement of energy.
Your strengths are going to be forged in the fire of your difficulties. Make the thing you went through the best part of you. Instead of that thing being a shame, it becomes a virtue.
Your beliefs create your reality. Your beliefs are thoughts you believe and think very often. Your perspective is the compound of your beliefs. Your emotions are the indicator for whether the belief is beneficial or not.
Positive focus is the natural state; we don’t need to learn how to do it. The reason why we focus negatively and then have unwanted results is because we were trained out of our own compass to conform the expectations of the family and society we were born into.
We have turned spiritual practice into something else. It’s become a tool to abuse ourselves and others emotionally. It’s become a competition and a test that we are set up to fail because emotions, whether positive or negative, are inevitable in our lives.
Every person has light and shadow in his personality. I love them both because I love the way you are. I love the crying children in you, and I also love the mature and nurturing adult you are now. I love you, no matter how.